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Big Tears

I'm just going to say I had big tears on this one. And yes, I stole it from one of the links on Keri's blog. I've seen similar productions before, but I always love seeing the dramatic portrayals and evidences of what Christ did for us on the cross and how He longs for us every day.

http://dudleyrutherford.blogspot.com/

Happy crying to you!

Much love.

Nice, I'm Posting Twice

It must be the cooler air or the illusion of having more time, but here I am twice in one day. My son, my dear sweet, tender, smiling, hacking, coughing, wheezing son has now been diagnosed with asthma and RAD which is Reactive Airway Disease. Holy moly. I don't envy doctors and I don't envy parents who try and try to get things taken care of with their kids through illnesses minor and especially major. I'm still not 100% fully convinced of the diagnosis, but tomorrow the cat leaves on a long trip to Norman to become an OU rootin' warehouse cat with Jason's dad. Thank you Richard and Linda for opening up your warehouse to our big orange fuzzball. Sorry he isn't crimson and cream...know that would have helped. Azzie has been a part of this family for 8 years. I'm not gonna lie that I will probably shed a few tears. I'm still female.

I shouldn't be upset, but you know what I am. I am because Isaac is now 13 months old and he has coughed almost everyday of his life and it has affected us more than I think I realized. I know many other parents have a much harder time with far more severe illnesses with their children, and I won't belittle that. I am forever thankful for my little family and for each trial because it does make us stronger, it refines us, it causes me especially to cling to Him. But God meets us where we are. And here I am.

I have taken my son to the doctor SO MANY TIMES knowing he was sick, but not "sick" in that he still plays, eats, drinks, poops and pees, knowing something was wrong and why on earth is he still coughing?!? His breathing was so labored today that the doctor said it was as if I was laying down on the exam table and my mom (thank you for coming with me!!!) was sitting on top of my chest. Of course that would make me crabby. No wonder he has been a toot lately and very needy.

Asthma and RAD require breathing treatments 4 times a day. Our sweet Isaac doesn't even like to watch tv on his own as I have TRIED to get him to watch for just a few minutes so I can have a break. Totally different than big sister who I still have to peel away from the tv on occasion. So distracting him to sit still is tough, hold him down, make him scream tough. Oh well, the more he screams, the more his lungs open up, the more medicine he gets.

One of the ladies that I work out with has become a dear friend to me and is, in fact, the mirror image of myself in 20 years. We felt instantly bonded in friendship and she is one of the few people that can ask me how if I'm doing good and it's okay if I tell her no. When she asked today if I was better as yesterday was a "no" day, I said I am because we have this diagnosis, but I don't want my kid to be the pasty white asthmatic on the sidelines never able to play in the game. Now to all my asthmatic readers, please forgive my generalization, I am merely a frustrated mother with a need to vent. I apologize.

We're off to the doctor AGAIN on Tuesday to see if anything is better. I do have hope as Lil' Dude went to sleep tonight and there was no wheezing, hacking cough to serenade us as we did dishes.

Bless my son, Lord and heal him.

Mother of the Year Award

And the 2007 Mother of the Year Award goes to.............................yeah you got it, me!

I'll keep this short and sweet.

Last night we were doing our final goodnight to Camille who was having a hard time keeping her top of the lungs singing down to a dull roar so that Isaac wouldn't wake up. The kitchen was clean, the lights were out and Jason followed me into her bedroom to say goodnight and for Pete's sake, let's sing quietly. I kissed her gently and softly whispered goodnight and tiptoed to step out of the room while Jason said his goodnights. Next thing I know I realize Jason must have turned out even the night light because man that hallway was dark. No, no he did not turn out the nightlight. He did however shut Camille's bedroom door. With an enormous BLAM my face, knee, both hands, in fact my entire body, ran smack into her closed bedroom door. It was an America's Funniest Home Video moment only worse because her bedroom door is not a clear sliding glass door and I'm not an insane dog or rambunctious 2 year old. Poor Camille couldn't understand what I had done and neither Jason nor I could stop laughing enough to try to explain it.

Maybe the knock to the head did more damage than I thought, because as I was putting on Camille's dress this morning, I made a mental note on my mommy checklist in my brain to walk back into my bedroom where the clean laundry had (at least) been folded and get Camille some panties for the day as it was our first day back at MOPS. Yeah, next thing I know, MOPS is over and we are at Taco Bueno (I know, health food store) getting lunch before ANOTHER doctor appointment for Isaac and I see that Camille is wearing an old pair of pull-ups left in her bag in case of accident. My stomach sank and my face immediately turned crimson. Can you imagine the mortified look on Grandma Nadine's face (Camille's teacher) when Camille leaned over to play and smiled at the world with her bare-naked bottom?! Camille then tells the lady at Bueno that is taking our money, "My mommy forgot my panties at home." and then to the mom with 2 kids we just met and invited to MOPS, "My bottom hurts and I need to go poo-poo." At least she didn't ask a complete stranger if she has a baby in her tummy (happens often). After 3 new babies in our family in the last few months, that one is a little harder to explain away to an unknowing and admittedly offended stranger.

Mother of the Year right here. I'm working on nominations for 2008 already.

What A Beautiful Morning

I have desperately missed the cool, inexplicably beautiful mornings of fall. The windows are open, it is cooler in my house right now than I keep it with the air conditioner, and the breeze and smell in my house is just soothing and remarkable.

The kids are wearing pants today and I am excited to have the temperature get cool enough to wear long sleeves and sweaters.

It's just a really great morning.

Other thoughts running through my head are of course, the anniversary of 9/11. That was six years ago and it seems like last year. I guess that is how many people feel of dramatic events in history. Outshining that, on Yahoo News at least, is the hype of Britney and her appearance on the VMA. First of all, she had 2 babies in a VERY short period of time and even though I don't approve of her image, music and choices she has made recently, to be so publicly negative of her body in the state that it is in (looks remarkably the same to me as it did before), only serves to frustrate me. She made the choice to be in the public eye, so you gotta take what comes with that, but give me a break. No wonder pre-teen and teenage girls are struggling with eating disorders and image problems. I wholeheartedly believe in eating right and exercising and maintaining an appropriate weight; one of the reasons I work out as hard as I do, to be healthy. But look at the grocery store tabloids right now, how many of them are focused on "stars" of Hollywood that are TOO skinny right now? Ya think?

Having more coverage than 9/11 is a new mom at most likely a healthy weight (I don't know how much she weighs) that is fraught with bad choices and poor dance moves and a lack of stable guidance from someone who truly cares. I'd say she really needs some intervention in the form of prayer. How many more desperate calls for help can one unstable girl make? My urge to you today is to lift her up in prayer. She needs your voice before God and His hand in her life.

My First Show!

I had my first show today at Saint Francis Hospital's Vendor Days, and I am pleased to announce that I Carry Your Heart was a hit!

It was great fun to talk with people about what I have been doing and see them so excited to find something so personal and unique.

Now being at SFH at 6am...not so fun, but I felt it was a success by lunchtime so everything until 4pm (closing time) was gravy! Looking forward to my next 2 days with my continuing shows on the 21st and 24th!

Short and sweet. I'm tired.

Still More Welcomes

Welcome to blogger, Tammy and Faith, viewable under links to the right; Holm and Blackwood blogs respectively. Old and new friends connecting with the clickety click of the keyboard.

A few pictures for you.

Isaac prefers a fork, but when one is unavailable, he'll just use his mouth, thank you.

Quite proud of his accomplishment.

Let's celebrate with a popsicle.

Camille was kind enough to share...before we knew she had croup and strep. Funny how Jason's throat hurts now.

Gratuitous popsicle shot of Mom.

Isaac hammin' it up for the camera, with his pjs as a cape.

This is what strep throat and croup look like. Although, I will admit she is feeling much better. But somehow, being sick makes her mean! An opportunity to work on talking nicely even when we don't feel good. Maybe I need to listen to myself on that one!

Oh yeah, yesterday was Camille's half birthday. Whoop de doo, what a way to celebrate.

Ode To A SAHM

Ode To A SAHM

I knew one day I'd do it
I knew one day it would be me.
But to think that I'd have to go through this
I never knew it to be.
A SAHM has many things to look forward to
One of them to be
The connection and conversation
Of other females like me.
A playdate planned so far in advance
A lunchdate set a month before
Only to go to the wayside
In care of something more.
The digital scan brushed across the forehead
The numbers rising high
Told this little mom that all those things
Need to be set aside.
I'd never heard a croupy cough
Many times felt the pain of strep
But to have them all together
Had my little girl crying for help.
It's times like this you take to heart
What many times had heard
I wish I could take this pain from her
I never want her to feel this hurt.
Only so many times can you give her medicine
And tell it will help her feel better.
When the pain is there and she begs for more
Is it wrong to not hold to the letter?
A little sugar and warm water
I placed in a fluid dispenser.
A Mom gave promises of blissful sleep
In fact I never did hear her.
The song of Mary Poppins I hum lightly to her
If a spoonful of sugar helps medicine
Why can't the medicine be sugar?

This is what happens when you don't get much sleep because of croupy, streppy kids that you offer to have sleep with you in hopes of more restful sleep, but then they get kicked back into their own bed after one too many kicks to mom.

A night of screams, a night of coughs...let's hope this one pans out better. She is still going to sleep in her own bed.

For those of you, including my husband, SAHM is Stay At Home Mom.

But, the sugar trick, that's a freeby. Hope it works as well for you.

Hello Danielle!

Welcome little Danielle! She came into the world, on her own, Wednesday, August 29. She weighed 8 lbs. 1 oz. and she looks just like her big sister. She is definitely a cutie!

Pics to come as soon as I can get them off my mom's camera!

Welcome to the family, sweet pea!