No more pity parties

I've decided that I won't complain anymore. I won't question why. I will accept and move on. I have also decided I need to get back to being thankful in my blog and giving updates on the kids and their lovely nuances. I have so much to be thankful for, so on with the show!

As a starter, Isaac has been holding on to my hands and pulling himself up for quite some time now, but he made a huge accomplishment at the hospital. He was sitting up in his hospital crib, holding on to the side and pulling with all his might at the railing. Jason moved one of his feet into a better position and he just popped up like a jack-in-the-box! I had the camera right there and snapped the perfect picture. This also gives a really good picture of his alien hair pretty. Camille was with me right after he got the IV put in his head, and she looked at it very concerned until I told her that it was Isaac's hair pretty. At that, she pulled her own hair pretty out of her hair and handed it to him. It really was sweet.

I ended up cutting Isaac's hair after this to accommodate the small patch that they had to shave and the hair that was pulled out by all the tape and glue. He still has a smidge of glue in his hair that looks like two streaks of dried snot! Every time we try to work it out, he starts screaming, so we leave it. It gives his hair character.

Isaac also has two teeth now. The second one was a painful event for him, but since it popped through, he hasn't had any complaints. Here is a good picture of his two shiny new teeth. Now, I wish I had sound affects with the picture, because he is making a very primal, guttural sound in this picture. It's a sound only a baby can make.

He is back to sleeping through most of the morning. He wakes up between 5:30 and 6:30 and drinks a bottle, then wakes up between 9 and 10, eats breakfast and is normally back to bed by 10:30 until after lunch time. It gives Camille and I some quality time together in the morning.

He loves standing up, as seen above, but the boy has no interest in crawling. He will lay on his tummy and lift his arm and legs and "swim" in the air when he wants to be moved. If I don't pick him up or move him, he will finally get mad enough to roll to where he wants to go. I've tried propping him up on his hands and knees and he will stay there for two seconds and then say, "Whatever, Mom" and plop right back down on his tummy. He and Camille actually really play together for an extended period of time now. As long as the toy is big enough for the both of them, they will keep each other entertained long enough for me to just sit back and enjoy the moment.

Camille is growing up at light speed. She is very into coloring and painting. The other day, I got her a paintbrush (actually one of our old basting brushes) and a couple of big cups of water and taught her how to "paint" the water on the back patio. Water has much less mess than other paints! But, one day we had the sidewalk chalk out there with the water. Leave it to an intelligent toddler willing to try new things! She started dipping the chalk into the water then using the wet chalk to paint! It does have a more brilliant color like that and actually goes on to the concrete easier than when dry. You can't really tell in this picture, but she has painted her arm and her dress. I told her to sit in the seat so I could take her picture, and she posed herself. Dainty, right? HA!! If you could really see her mouth, it is not so much a delicate smile; she has this look that she has developed lately where she puts her upper and lower teeth together and she almost grinds them together as she is trying to resist whatever is tempting her in her mind. It normally comes when her hands are up in the air and she is heading toward Isaac or one of the dogs. You can tell she is really trying to practice self-control. But, I can see the inner tornado on her face trying to break free. The next picture affirms this. She immediately was up on the table trying to climb onto it. I love every second with this girl!

Jason came home the other night and told me to go get my nails done. He fed Isaac and bathed both kids by the time I got home. It was a huge blessing to just go and sit and do nothing and think about nothing for about an hour. It was such a surprise that I didn't take the time to shave my legs before I went. And, I ended up with a guy doing my pedicure and a woman doing my manicure. I'm sure in all the conversation that was going on in their native language, he mentioned the fact that my legs were slightly hairy! I didn't mind and my legs can't be the worst they have seen! So, big thank you to Jason for meeting my needs and loving me how I need it!

I have to leave you with this picture of Camille. She actually stood still for a minute and I was able to capture her in a wonderful moment, crazy hair and all.

Have a great weekend!

NO MORE NEEDLES!!!!

If I have to see my son get poked with another needle, I might just go nuts! If I can count accurately, he has been poked with those shiny, sharp objects at least 15 times since last Monday, the 19th. FIFTEEN times!! He is only 7 months old! Today, he was getting his blood drawn for allergy tests and when they first put the needle in, he just stared and sat there. You could almost see his little mind saying, "Oh man, not another needle. When is this going to stop?" Then, they lost his little vein. So, the phlebotomist started digging. Not even you or I could just sit still without displaying the pain of that predicament. They lost that vein and had to go to the other arm with the even smaller, harder-to-get-to vein; of course they are going to start out with the best one they can find. Well, the needle went in and out came...nothing. So, she went to digging again to find that tiny rolled vein. "It just keeps rolling away from me." She was so sweet and had been doing this for 23 years I think she said. At least she wasn't a nuby. I already said no to one nurse at the hospital that hadn't done an IV in an infant's head before. I know she has to start somewhere, but it is not going to be with my child and not on his 13th poke.

I honestly feel like it is my fault that he is going through all of this. I'm the one that is taking him to get the blood tests. I'm the one that was unable to keep him hydrated. I'm the one that is not satisfied that there is nothing wrong, and his cough and congestion and constant labored breathing at night are nothing to worry about. I know that sounds silly. And logic tells me that is ridiculous. But logic doesn't make those feelings go away.

Just like you don't remember the actual feeling of the awkwardness, nausea, pinched nerves, back pain and constant state of uncomfortableness of pregnancy, so you joyfully start another pregnancy; I don't remember Camille having problems of this magnitude when she was younger. They were there, in their own way, I'm sure. It wasn't a perfect state of bliss. It seemed so easy, so why not have another? Can't be too hard, can it? I want Isaac to be older so he can tell me where it hurts and say, "When I breathe like this it feels better", or "That stupid cat and/or dog makes me want to hack up a lung, Mom. Please take them away." "Don't you know this formula is better for my little tummy than the other?" "It's not necessary for you to take me to the hospital, I'll just drink some more so I'll feel better." I'm ready to not remember how hard this is. I thank God for that day, and for the heeling that He is going to give my son and the peace that is going to rest easily on our minds and hearts, and the wisdom that He will give the doctors to give us full knowledge of his fixable ills. My heart goes out to the Moms with chronically ill children. That is an amazing strength right there.

Oops

Yeah, so it has been almost 5 years of marriage. The year is 2007. I'm nuts, but I still love him!

We're home...again

Well, Friday morning came and with it a trip to the doctor that I knew in my heart was going to lead us back to the hospital. Little Dude was dehydrated again and now hypoglycemic. The only dreadful part about this trip was the IV or shall I say the attempt at the IV. After 4 or 5 attempts on a tiny dehydrated body that does not have "good" veins, he finally had one put in his head. I sobbed, literally sobbed as I was holding Camille in the next room over. She is so tenderhearted and was doing a fine job of comforting me. Later that same day, his IV started to swell and came out, and they had to put in another one on the other side of his head. Our son is a trooper. I did manage to get some pictures so that we can look back on this and remember how strong this little guy is.

I lost it on Saturday night and just cried in the "bed" at the hospital. Isaac was so congested he could barely sleep and his IV monitor kept going off for having an occlusion, meaning he was laying on the right side of his head and blocking off the stream. I should have just woken up at 3:15 and called it a night instead of crawling back in bed trying to go back to sleep before someone else came in to check on him or there was another disturbance. I thought I was tired week before last.

The Sunday morning visit from the doctor sent us home! He had officially stopped having the runs Friday afternoon and was finally drinking and eating and it staying inside of him. The nurse that we had on Sunday was male and by looking at his tattoos was possibly in the military as a nurse before doing his traveling nursing. The nurse tech that was with us that morning and the morning before was totally taken with him. Having been married for almost 7 years now and not surrounded by early 20s "kids" and their relationships, it was so much fun to watch her flirt her little heart out. She was really giving some good effort and of course, he ate it up. You could tell he was used to it, but he was very receiving of it as well. Made for a very lighthearted morning. Well, that and the fact that I was practically exploding with joy at the prospect of leaving our confinement and heading back to our home.

We made it home and Isaac just crashed in his bed and slept for over 3 hours. When he woke up, he had a fever. AAAAAAHHHH! When is this going to end?!!?!? He still has a mild fever and as long as no more watery poos or vomiting happens, we don't have to go back to the doctor until our followup on Wednesday. I just looked at the calendar, and we have been to the doctor for both kids 9 times in the last month. I'm ready for a break.

In recognition of another sick little boy, Keri has been through her own trials with Bo having an ear infection with fluid and blood leaking out of his ears. All of this, after he had tubes put in his ears. Our poor little guys. She has definitely been a great shoulder for me to lean on with an amazing sense of timing in understanding what it feel like right at the same moment. I pray the Lord's healing on both of our children and I am so looking forward to healthy children.

The family awaits, so I will say so long for now. Pictures will be forthwith.

And for that, I am truly thankful.

It has been a whirlwind in the Coffin home lately. Sunday morning Isaac woke up at around 7am and had a little bottle and proceeded to vomit all over me, 10 minutes later, he vomited again. After trying a little bit of bananas for breakfast, he vomited again. Then, the runs began running. He puked and vomited throughout the day and was generally just sick. I called the doc and they said if he was still puking and having diarrhea on Monday, to call and have him be checked out. Well, the poo kept flowing, but there was no more yaks until about 2 pm. So, we went to the docs and he looked at Isaac's blood test and we were in the Pink Palace by 4:45. For those who do not live in Tulsa, the Pink Palace is none other than the St. Francis Hospital. It really is pink.

Isaac and I were there until about 4:30 Wednesday afternoon. IVs, blood samples, breathing treatments (for a cough and congestion that has been with him for months), and constant interruptions of sleep for blood pressure, temperature check and IV adjustments made for a long 48 hours in the hospital. When we walked into our hospital room and looked around, the first thing we noticed on the door was a sign that said, “Infectious Contaminant: Must wear mask, gloves and coat when entering.” It was left from the previous patient. Makes you feel good about where we were going to be staying. However, as soon as we arrived, I sang out to God, “Thank you for healthy kids and family so that this is not a normal activity.” I have always appreciated healthy kids, but I don’t know if I truly grasped how special that is until we were at the hospital surrounded by kids for which the hospital became a second home. This was a short stint, and for that, I am truly thankful.

Well, add 9 hours to the above writings. We had to call the doctor again this evening because Little Dude’s poos have turned back into their basically colored water and he vomited again this evening. It was huge, massive all over me and him and I am so glad we were outside when it happened. So, there might be another trip to the hospital tomorrow. We go in first thing in the morning to the doc’s to get his blood tested again for dehydration.

Speaking of doctors…know of any good pediatricians? The relationship with any doctor seems to me to be a close similarity to a dating relationship. You start out tentative, then enamored, in love, questioning, forgiving, and then crushed. I know no doctor is perfect. They are human just like anyone else, but you know what, they chose this profession. They wanted to be here. So, there are expectations to be met.

There have been numerous occasions where I was offended, distraught, or just flat out angry out our son’s doctor. I will admit Isaac is small, but this doctor actually walked me to another waiting room in his office while I was holding Isaac, opened the door and he compared Isaac to an overweight child and his morbidly obese mother basically saying this is what “we” wanted Isaac to look like. Alright, close your mouth, catch your breath and read on, my friend. He never tested him for RSV back in the beginning of his cough and just put him on breathing treatments, he still has the horrible cough and congestion; then prevacid without running any tests to confirm absolutely that he has reflux, just looked down his throat; he never ran any tests to make sure of what Isaac had before sending him to the hospital and I had to explain to all the staff multiple times that, no, he didn’t run anything besides the dehydration test; he forgot, and admitted that he forgot, to come see us in the hospital yesterday morning after I heard him outside our door talking with a nurse, and I had to page him twice this evening to get a call back regarding our incredibly ill child that was just out of the hospital yesterday! Shall we say this was the straw that broke this mamma’s back? So, after we get finished with some testing for asthma and allergies and some other, more serious testing, yes, actual TESTING, we are moving on. I will use him, and I mean use him, for the tests already scheduled and then I am dropping this SOB in the dirt. I can’t even say, “pardon me” for that last comment. I mean it.

Okay, big sigh, deep breath.

I don’t know where I would have been these last few days without my circle of family and friends and for my amazing husband. Jason met me at the doctor’s office and drove us to the hospital and took off work to be home with Camille and basically be the solid cornerstone I needed after feeling like falling apart. After a tearful phone call, Mom immediately met us at the hospital to take Camille so she would not be exposed to the filth flying around those walls, and she had her every time Jason came to the hospital to bring me food or just be an adult face that I recognized. She also stayed with me until Isaac fell asleep for the night both nights. Another tearful phone call to Keri and she became an instant prayer warrior phoning our MOPs moms, calling to check in and coming to the hospital with Tammy with goodies in hand to be a blessed respite in my time of need. Dear Tammy, my kickboxing buddy. I have known her for only a few weeks, but she has already become someone with whom I’ve shared joy and struggle. It’s a friendship made to last. Sandy, for bringing us dinner tomorrow night (enchiladas) and doing an amazing job and helping me know that we are an important part of her MOPs group. And, Brook for offering to take on Camille if we needed the extra set of hands. I am truly blessed and for these, I am truly thankful.

You know where your strength comes from when you are in a time of crisis. I definitely found mine in this crisis. I definitely found where it wasn’t as well. I had one too many phone calls of feigned concern when it only stemmed from blatant curiosity and the topic of gossip. Blech.

To be honest, I needed the days alone with Isaac. I had bonded with him before, but I had never had the opportunity to just be one on one with him for an extended period of time. Any time we had had one on one before, it was normally for a feeding, and I just wanted it to be over so he would go back to sleep and so could I. The other times, he was so pumped to be around Camille that he just wanted to stare in wonderment at her and be the focus of her attention. I loved just being there with him so that I could watch his facial expressions, understand his voices, be there immediately when he needed me, and be amazed at how much he has grown and how interactive he has become. Even though it was at the hospital, I cherished the time I had with him and for that, I am truly thankful.

Even though we might be back at the hospital tomorrow (please, dear God, no) I have taken in every second of being back home, especially the four of us sitting on the couch this evening. We were together as a family again, happy to be around each other, in love with each other, our own little bubble of a family and for that, I am truly thankful.

Let's See....

Let's see if I can recall all that has happened since my last post....

Our main computer died a horrible, unrecoverable death and I lost months of pictures, my Christmas address list (you wanna Christmas card this year, email me your address!) and all of Jason's previous school stuff. YIKES!!! So, after many @#$%^##!! and many more tears, I tell all of you, my dear blog readers, either network your computer to another one in your house or for pete's sake, save your pictures to disk and do not rely on your never-fail-computer-house-it-all to stand the test of time. An absolute in this world is that nothing is absolutely never going to fail.

Another big one, Camille turned the big 2 going on 20! She had a wonderful birthday party, made out like a bandit, and had a blast with all her family, cousins and friends. She is definitely a girly girl that likes to dress up like a princess and dance, dance, dance. I see ballet lessons in the future.

On the topic of Camille, she is now wearing big girl panties during the day and successfully (with very few accidents) makes it to the potty for all her business. We have even made the step to going in any bathroom available and telling her "teachers" when she is at the gym or church. I say that not to brag, but it is a pretty cool accomplishment and she basically did it herself. I do have to give credit to Parenting magazine for tips on the big p-o-t-t-y. I wouldn't have been able to do it without the blessed tips I found in there and the encouragement from family, friends and pediatrician. So, hats off to you all!

Little Dude, aka Isaac, is now on some medication which seems to be helping him eat/drink better. I think last time I posted on the concerns I had for his eating, he was still breastfeeding. Well, we had to stop nursing because he wasn't gaining enough weight, and even on the bottle, his weight gain was incredibly minimal and he would refuse his bottles except in the morning and evening. He was finally diagnosed with silent reflux and the medicine is healing his little sores on his throat and esophagus. So, he is doing better, but Little Dude does not like to be in pain and will let the world know if drinking or eating hurts. I've been able to morph him into Captain Distraction during the day and give him a little book to look at while I'm giving him a bottle, and so far it has worked okay. But, any prayers you can offer up on getting this guy to eat more would be soooo appreciated.

Jason and I have had several date nights recently and owe it all to Tulsa Art Sampler and one wedding. We purchased tickets through one Tulsa organization to different art events in town to be able to sample what they have to offer. It has been a blast! Once a month, we have a night on the town with food, beverages and artistic entertainment with a new arts organization. It is all already paid for and already on the calendar. Having been in the art world for so long before retiring to the position of COO of Domestic Organization and Rearing of Coffin Progeny, Inc., I have loved every second and look forward to continuing this for many more months and years to come.

Little Dude also cut his first tooth and its a doozie! Sharp as a tack and crooked as his big sister's. It's on the bottom and it is really so cute. As soon as we get our regular computer back, I will post some pictures. He is also rolling from one side of the room to the other. He is not interested in crawling or even getting up on his knees and hands, he just motors it to where he wants to go like a little roly poly!

Alrighty, both the kids are up and ready for the rest of the day (am I?) so I better get of my tooshers and go play! I think the great outdoors are calling our names. I love this weather!